Re: Put Anything Funny Here, Anything as long as it is Funny

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 8:54 am

Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore , Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me la....

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 8:55 am

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
' What did you get?' asked his father.
' My marks are under water,' said the boy.
' What do you mean 'under water'?'
' They are all below 'C' (sea) level.'

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:08 am

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:09 am

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:10 am

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:10 am

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:11 am

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:11 am

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:11 am

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:12 am

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:13 am

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.

lol!

by **ahdeng88** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:53 am

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop,who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....

He said: "Try to do it when the engine is
running".

by **sprity** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 3:20 pm

lol.... thanks ahdeng....

by **farah91** Wed 22 Oct 2008, 6:43 pm

funny LOL!!

by **ahdeng88** Mon 10 Nov 2008, 2:21 pm

hmmmmmmmm.... anymore funny stuffs here??

by **sprity** Mon 10 Nov 2008, 7:58 pm

.......... need some jokes...........

by **ahdeng88** Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:27 pm

lol...sprity... that's so cute... haahaha Razz

by **sprity** Tue 11 Nov 2008, 8:48 pm

Innocent questions from kids?

Dear God
i went to this wedding they kissed right in Church.
Is that ok?

Neil
------------------------------------#
Dear God,
I am American What are you?

Robert
------------------------------#
Dear God,

thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a Puppy.

Joyce
--------------------------------#
Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of every body in the whole world
There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do itt.

Nan
--------------------#
Dear god-
Please put another Holiday between christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now.

by **sprity** Tue 11 Nov 2008, 8:51 pm

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
---------------------------------#
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
----------------------------#
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
-----------------------#
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

by **ahdeng88** Tue 11 Nov 2008, 8:56 pm

I like the H2O lol!

Thanks Sprity

by **sprity** Tue 11 Nov 2008, 9:01 pm

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an INDIAN... !!!
--------------------------#
At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny
decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted
by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly
hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased,
the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him
with, "I know the whole truth."

The father promptly hands him $40 and
says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy
is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his
front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The
mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then
come give your real father a big hug."

by **sprity** Tue 11 Nov 2008, 9:04 pm

its ok.... ahdeng... iam doing my job......lol.......

have fun.... bounce

by **ahdeng88** Wed 12 Nov 2008, 12:33 am

sprity wrote:This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an INDIAN... !!!
--------------------------#
At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny
decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted
by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly
hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased,
the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him
with, "I know the whole truth."

The father promptly hands him $40 and
says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy
is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his
front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The
mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then
come give your real father a big hug."

by **Nazrin** Thu 13 Nov 2008, 2:11 am

"I Know The Truth".. LOL.. xD

stick

by **farah91** Thu 13 Nov 2008, 2:07 pm

sprity wrote:TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
---------------------------------#
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
----------------------------#
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
-----------------------#
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

by **farah91** Thu 13 Nov 2008, 2:11 pm

sprity wrote:This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an INDIAN... !!!
--------------------------#
At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny
decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted
by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly
hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased,
the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him
with, "I know the whole truth."

The father promptly hands him $40 and
says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy
is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his
front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The
mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then
come give your real father a big hug."

wahahahahahha!!!
i can't stop laughing la!
Cam

by **sprity** Fri 14 Nov 2008, 1:30 pm

thats great..... everyone are laughing.........

by **sprity** Sat 15 Nov 2008, 3:18 pm

Amazing Numbers!
You will need a calculator for this:
Take the number of the month you were born,
multiply by 4,
add 13,
multiply by 25, subtract 200,
add the day of the month on which you were born,
multiply by 2, subtract 40, multiply by 50, add the last two digits of the year
in which you were born,
subtract 10,500.
Notice anything funny about your answer.

by **farah91** Sat 15 Nov 2008, 4:29 pm

erkkkk..i didn't notice anything sprity..just 12791..does it mean anything?

by **farah91** Sat 15 Nov 2008, 4:31 pm

oh ya..i found it!hahhahahah!

by **ahdeng88** Sat 15 Nov 2008, 11:35 pm

by **sprity** Mon 17 Nov 2008, 3:22 pm

@ahdeng....

it will give ur birthday date,month n year.....

by **ahdeng88** Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:29 pm

ic... thanks sprity

by **sprity** Wed 19 Nov 2008, 6:30 pm

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy:
Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner:
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

by **sprity** Wed 19 Nov 2008, 6:31 pm

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!

by **sprity** Wed 19 Nov 2008, 6:38 pm

Why did the man suddenly stopped his bike and started dancing?

Answer :- He was a break (brake) dancer.

by **sprity** Thu 20 Nov 2008, 3:33 pm

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

by **sprity** Thu 20 Nov 2008, 3:34 pm

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

by **sprity** Thu 20 Nov 2008, 3:54 pm

If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it
for you.

by **ahdeng88** Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:54 pm

sprity wrote:Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

by **sprity** Fri 21 Nov 2008, 12:53 pm

thank u ahdeng....

i am happy that there is atleast one person who is enjoying my jokes.... bounce

by **farah91** Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:46 pm

sprity wrote:TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!

i like this one! miss_saber15

by **sprity** Mon 24 Nov 2008, 7:57 pm

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

U r too little to Smoke......

by **ahdeng88** Tue 25 Nov 2008, 8:31 am

sprity wrote:What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

U r too little to Smoke......

hahaha.... Cam

by **sprity** Wed 03 Dec 2008, 6:40 pm

TEACHER: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”

JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time.”

by **sprity** Wed 03 Dec 2008, 6:44 pm

TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

JOHNNY: “Because George still had the ax in his hand.”

by **sprity** Wed 03 Dec 2008, 6:53 pm

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?

PUPIL: A teacher.

by **farah91** Wed 03 Dec 2008, 9:49 pm

sprity wrote:TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

JOHNNY: “Because George still had the ax in his hand.”

by **farah91** Wed 03 Dec 2008, 9:50 pm

sprity wrote:TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?

PUPIL: A teacher.

soooooooooooo trueeee miss_saber15

by **Nazrin** Thu 04 Dec 2008, 12:12 pm

Funny jokes! keep on going sprity! hehehehe

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